43 Today: Honest Thoughts on Success, Struggle, and Still Showing Up

Today I turn 43. In a few days, Tara and I will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary.
Those two milestones should make me feel proud, and in many ways they do... but if I’m being honest, today I woke up asking myself the harder questions:

• Why am I not selling more prints?
• Why can’t I sell out all my trips?
• What am I doing at age 43?
• When will I feel fulfilled and happy?
• Why do I still feel “not successful” even when I know, deep down, I am?

These questions creep in more often than I’d like to admit. They sit in the background of every project, every post, every late night of editing and planning.

The Check and Balance

The truth is, measuring success is messy. Society, and let’s be real, social media, has trained us to equate “sold out,” “sold big,” and “sold fast” with success. If it’s not immediate or flashy, it feels like failure.

But here’s the honest check:

• I am building something.
• I am booking trips and selling calendars and speaking on stages.
• I am doing the work that once felt impossible.
• I am still married.
• I am good enough.

The fact that my prints don’t fly off the shelves today doesn’t erase the years I’ve invested in building a body of work that I’m proud of. The fact that every expedition doesn’t sell out instantly doesn’t mean they never will—it means I’m still in the building phase. And building takes time.

Perspective

When I step back, I see it clearly: I’m playing the long game. Every blog I write, every gallery show, every conversation at a vendor table, every moment spent out in the wild behind my lens—it all stacks. It’s not wasted, it’s not failure, it’s foundation.

And here’s the part I need to remind myself of, maybe more than anything:
Success isn’t just numbers. Success is still being here at 43, still creating, still chasing dreams, still working to provide for my family, still refusing to give up or give in.

Moving Forward

So, what’s the approach?

• Keep building the brand – OMNP is still young. Every year it grows stronger. (YOU can help this immensely)
• Keep building the portfolio – every shot taken adds to the story, whether it sells today or five years from now.
• Keep building the skill – the best way to silence “not enough” is to keep showing up, learning, and improving.

Because one day I’ll look back on this stage and realize it wasn’t failure—it was the climb. Just like I look back at my goals that once felt impossible - published/paid/featured/recognized by Canadian Geographic... are all now fulfilled along with so many more! 

To Anyone Reading

If you’ve ever sat in the same space, wondering why it doesn’t feel like “enough” even though you’re doing the work, know this: you’re not alone. We’re all balancing the questions with the answers, the doubts with the drive.

And maybe that’s the real success. Not giving up. Not letting go. Not losing sight of the fact that the hard days and the good days both belong to the story we’re writing.

Here’s to 43. Here’s to 19 years married. Here’s to continuing the climb—one step, one image, one dream at a time.

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